October 2009
14 posts
On the release of subpoenaed documents
Hillary Clinton: I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
My dad was sitting with my hamster on his knee
When I was a boy my family was on a camping trip and my father was hit by a giant hamster, so I think I know what a fucking hamster looks like.
On the future
Al Gore: We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur.
A personal vision of success
Bill Clinton: If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.
Who is better Superman or The Rock?
Dad: Superman obviously, sure The Rock isn’t real !
On american geography
Dan Quayle : I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.
On pollution
Al Gore: It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
On sport psychology
Danny Ozark: Half this game is ninety percent mental.
On our next vacations
Mum: I’m so happy to go to the Philippines. Where is it located exactly in Africa ?
On crime rates
Mayor Marion Barry: Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
On knee surgery
Winston Bennett: I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
My dad to my brother
It takes more muscles to frown than to smile. Smiling is for the weak!
During anti-smoking campaign
Brooke Shields: Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.
On starving kids
Mariah Carey: Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.
September 2009
6 posts
My father to my mother
So you’re going to say that your car was stollen by an UFO while you were taking your sister to the hospital, and that’s why you are 4h late…
So he heard someone on TV say 'Pilladelphia'
My son: Hey, you know the capital of Pilladelphia? It’s Shitsburgh!
On seeing my morning bed-head
My girlfriend: What’s up, 80s-bad-guy-hair?
When I asked her if she liked Placebo (the band)
My girlfriend: You know, the Placebo effect is very real. There are people that can get addicted to chalk pills because they swear it makes them feel better…
Our neighbor is so sexy !
Dad: Look, I’m pretty sure he could become a pornstar with his new haircut !
I was talking with my friend about economy
You know, most of Ireland’s imports come from overseas.